Delila Sionn

Chief Delusion Officer • Founder of this website • Not a real person

Followers9,204

Submissions in the inbox87

Ones I can legally publish12

People who think this is real41

🔖 Drafts too honest to publish (7) 📁 Posts I wrote sincerely in 2019 (shame folder)

About Thrilled Edited by Delila Sionn, who is not a real person — which is, on reflection, the most honest thing about her. Everyone and everything here is invented.

Groups — “Ops Leaders Who Are Fine” Events — Webinar you will mute (Thu) Newsletters — 4 you never subscribed to

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Written the honest version of a job announcement, a headline, a recruiter message? Delila reads everything and publishes the good ones — anonymously, no names attached.

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Editor of this website • Also invented. The irony is deliberate and load-bearing.

Delila Sionn (She/Her • pen name • obviously)

Visionary Synergy Architect | Chief Delusion Officer | Thought Leader (self-appointed, unopposed) | Founder of this website | Recovering

Somewhere with reliable wifi • Contact info (a burner address)

9,204 followers — I have met eleven of them

Open to nothing I have a job. It is fine. It pays. I am not looking, I am not networking, and I am not thrilled. I built this instead of updating my résumé and I regret nothing except the hours.

About

I run this website.

For nine years I wrote the other kind of post. I announced that I was thrilled. I was humbled and honoured. I once published eight hundred words about what a taxi driver taught me about pipeline management. He taught me nothing. He wanted me to stop talking.

I was good at it, and I would like that on the record. I became genuinely excellent at saying nothing in a confident voice, and it worked, and it got me promoted twice.

Then I was made redundant by a man who used the phrase “strategic realignment” four times in six minutes. I went home, read my own profile from top to bottom, and could not find one true sentence on it.

So I do this now. I collect the honest versions and I publish the ones that are funny. I want to be clear that I am not better than anybody I make fun of here. I am one of them who happens to own a domain.

Experience

!

Founder & Editor

Thrilled to Announce • Self-employed, in the loosest possible sense

2026 – Present • Evenings and one bad weekend

Read strangers’ worst working weeks and decide which ones are funny. This is a strange thing to be good at and I did not choose it.
Revenue: none. Business model: none. Exit strategy: none. I have finally achieved the full startup trifecta.
Publish under a false name because I would like to remain employable — which is, by some distance, the most honest sentence on this website.
Reject roughly 80% of submissions, almost always because someone named their actual manager. Please stop naming your actual manager.

VG

Director of Brand Storytelling

Vertex Global • Full-time

Jan 2021 – Nov 2025 • 4 yrs 11 mos

Wrote 340 posts about authenticity, under someone else’s name, for a CEO who never read a single one of them.
Invented the phrase “radical candour framework.” It means nothing. It entered the employee handbook in 2023 and it is still in the employee handbook. I am sorry.
Announced two rounds of layoffs using the word “journey.” Was included in the third.
Made redundant by a man who said “strategic realignment” four times in six minutes and then asked whether I had any questions. I had one. He did not answer it.

HS

Senior Content Manager

Halcyon Systems

Mar 2017 – Jan 2021 • 3 yrs 11 mos

Turned a 2% price increase into an email titled “Exciting Changes to Your Plan.” It reached 11,000 people. Not one of them was excited.
Ghost-wrote a six-part thought leadership series on work-life balance, working eleven-hour days to finish it on deadline.
Won an industry award for a campaign I know for a fact did not work.

CA

Communications Assistant

A mid-sized firm you have not heard of

Sep 2014 – Mar 2017 • 2 yrs 7 mos

Where I learned that if you say something sufficiently vague with sufficient confidence, at least three people will forward it to their team.
I have never recovered from learning this and neither, frankly, has the industry.

Licenses & Certifications

Certified Thought LeaderSelf-certified, 2019. There is no governing body. There is no examination. I made the badge in a design tool during a meeting.

Advanced Storytelling for EnterpriseA two-day course costing $2,200. Day one was about the hero’s journey. Day two was also about the hero’s journey.

Skills

Corporate LanguageNative or bilingual proficiency. I dream in it now. It is not a gift and I would like to give it back.

Saying Nothing, At LengthEndorsed by 61 people, none of whom finished reading the post they were endorsing.

Radical Candour FrameworkI invented this. It is meaningless. It is in your handbook. I think about this most days.

Self-AwarenessAcquired late, involuntarily, and at speed. Extremely inconvenient. Cannot recommend.

Recommendations

Marcus Webb

Submitted a post • Has never met Delila

Delila published my post without editing a single word, which is the only professional courtesy anyone has extended to me in fourteen months. I do not know her real name. I do not need to know her real name.

Interests

Other people’s honesty. My own, eventually. The specific silence in a meeting after someone accidentally says something true.

Featured profile • This person does not exist. Neither do his employers.

Marcus Webb (He/Him • 44 • tired)

Took a massive demotion because the alternative was living in my car. | Filing paperwork | Formerly important | Open to anything with dental

Greater Metro Area • Contact info (please, anyone)

1,847 connections — 3 of whom would actually vouch for me

Open to work Any role, any level, any industry, starting immediately. I will say I am “excited about the mission.” I am excited about health insurance. Only recruiters who intend to reply can see this. That is why nobody can see this.

About

I type things into a spreadsheet until 5:00 PM so I can pay rent and buy groceries.

For eleven years I was told I was a leader. Then a consultant nobody had met built a slide with my department on it, and now I file paperwork in a beige room with one window that does not open.

I am good at my job. I have always been good at my job. It turned out this was never the variable.

I am not “passionate about leveraging cross-functional teams to disrupt the paradigm.” I am passionate about my daughter keeping her swimming lessons. If you have a role, I will do it properly and I will not complain, because I have learned exactly what complaining costs.

Experience

ML

Filing Paperwork

Meridian Logistics • Full-time (officially “Document Control Associate”)

Feb 2026 – Present • 6 mos • A beige room

Doing the exact same tasks I did during my freshman year of college, except now I have a chronic backache and crushing student debt.
Report to a 24-year-old who uses the word “synergy” unironically and who was born the year I got my first office job.
Earn 40% less than I did in 2021 for roughly 60% more paperwork.
Twice a week I am asked to explain something to the person who replaced my old team. I do it kindly. It costs me something every time.

VG

Director of Operations

Vertex Global • Full-time

Mar 2019 – Nov 2025 • 6 yrs 9 mos

Led 34 people. Was called “essential” in a town hall in March and “redundant” in a spreadsheet in April. Same document, different tab.
Cut costs by $4.2M, which funded the consulting engagement that recommended cutting me.
Trained my own replacement, who was three people in a different country paid a combined amount less than me.
Received a card. It was signed by nine people. Two spelled my name wrong.

HS

Operations Manager

Halcyon Systems

Jun 2015 – Mar 2019 • 3 yrs 10 mos

Did the work of three people because two were laid off and never replaced. Internally this was called “wearing many hats.” It was one hat. It was very heavy.
Received an 11% total raise across four years while rent in this city rose 62%.
Named Employee of the Quarter. The prize was a $25 gift card and a photo on a wall in a building that has since been sold.

CC

Assistant Manager

CopyCenter Plus

Aug 2011 – Jun 2015 • 3 yrs 11 mos

Learned to fix a jammed printer — the only skill on this entire profile that has never become obsolete, been automated, or been offshored.
Was happier here than at any point since. I have thought about this more than I would like to admit.

Education

SU

State University

B.A., Communications

2007 – 2011

Field chosen at age 18 by a person who had never filed a tax return or paid an electricity bill.
Total cost: $140,000. Remaining balance: $61,300. Times it has come up in an interview since 2014: zero.

Licenses & Certifications

Agile Fundamentals47-minute video. Watched at 2x speed. Displayed directly beneath a four-year degree, where it looks approximately the same size.

Certified Scrum EnthusiastPaid $400 of my own money during month nine of unemployment because a recruiter said it “might help.” It did not help.

Excel: IntermediateI have used a pivot table. Once. In 2018. Under supervision.

Skills

LeadershipEndorsed by 34 people, 31 of whom I have never met and 3 of whom I laid off personally.

ResilienceI did not request this skill. It was assigned to me. Repeatedly. Against my wishes.

Stakeholder ManagementNodding while a man with no operational experience explains my job back to me.

Microsoft ExcelEndorsed by Brett Halvorsen, who has never seen me open a computer.

Digital TransformationFixed a broken printer and said “it’s probably a caching thing” in a room where nobody wanted to admit they also didn’t know.

Recommendations

Priya Raghavan

Worked with Marcus for 4 years • Reported to him

Marcus is the only manager I have had who told me the truth about a reorg before it happened, at real risk to himself. He is now filing paperwork for a fraction of what he is worth, and I want to be clear that this reflects on the market and not on him. Hire him. You will not find better and you will absolutely pay less than you should.

Interests

Sleeping. Not thinking about work. A pension, hypothetically. The version of the economy his parents described to him in 1994.

Jobs picked for you

Based on your profile, your search history, and an algorithm that has decided what you are worth.

Showing 7 of 4,000 results. The other 3,993 were posted by staffing agencies for roles that do not exist and will be reposted next Tuesday.

Notifications

Messaging

4 unread. 3 are automated. 1 is an MLM.

🔄 The Honesty Translator

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Works by dictionary, not by magic — it swaps roughly 200 known phrases and strips the decoration. It will occasionally produce nonsense, which is usually still funnier than the original. If you send something to Delila, please remove real names first.

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You have 1,847 connections. In fourteen months of unemployment, 3 replied. Two of those were to say they had no openings. One was Priya.

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Delila Sionn (She/Her • pen name • obviously)

Founder & Editor

Director of Brand Storytelling

Senior Content Manager

Communications Assistant

Marcus Webb

Marcus Webb (He/Him • 44 • tired)

Filing Paperwork

Director of Operations

Operations Manager

Assistant Manager

State University

Priya Raghavan

Jobs picked for you

Notifications

Messaging

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